im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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