Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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