ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize