you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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