You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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