Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
