Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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