so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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