awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I cockslap morals
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
