i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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