i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
