i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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