i just wanna soil my oats bro
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
