Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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