i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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