My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
