Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
