I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
