no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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