I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
