I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
