it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
