drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
