that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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