well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
