im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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