Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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