I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
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