So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize