I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
