i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
