I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sext me about skeletons
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
