i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I cut my penus on the lid.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize