The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
