Already got asked if we're dating
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
