He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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