i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
