I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
