Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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