I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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