I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize