Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
