oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
