Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
