They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
