he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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