I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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