remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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