Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
