sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You are a genius and a whore.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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