At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize