do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
