Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
