I'm going to jail i love you
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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