did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
