If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
