Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
it's like heaven, but drunker
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
