If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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