I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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