i just google imaged poop.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
