girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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