She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
