idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
