Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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