listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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