don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
