She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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