I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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