Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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