Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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